Excerpts from Julia Kim’s Testimony  
on July 5th, 2014

A person who confesses himself
or herself as an ‘unworthy sinner’ is more precious for Jesus
than the one who confesses as a ‘righteous person’
 

 
Julia Kim on July 5th

Praise Jesus!  Praise the Blessed Mother!

Today is the first Saturday of the month as wellas the feast day of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew, isn’t it? As the honored dust (relic) of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew is here right next to me, too, he is now with us today and drives away the devils with a branch of a palm. Because the most highness, Jesus and the Blessed Mother stay with us all the time in Naju, all the saints and angels are also with us.

The relic of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew

Fr. Oh Ki-sun asked me to attend an unveiling ceremony of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew’s Statue in 1986. He suggested to me: “Julia! Since the statue of St. Dea-gun Andrew is installed, we have to go there even if we have to borrow from a bank.” So I asked my husband “What should we do about Fr. Oh’s suggestion?” then my husband said “Of course, we do as the Father suggested.” Therefore, we went to Manila, Philippines where the ceremony took place. There was a lady from Lolomboi named Mendosa. Her house had a huge garden and had many servants. However, after staying there for a few days, a dog barked in the middle of the night. Many people saw the apparition of a person without head stood at the garden. Some of the housekeepers even quit their job because they were terrified of what they had seen or heard. However, this phenomenon stopped when the statue of St. Dae-gun was placed before the ceremony. St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew Church was built in on a parcel of land in Manila that was donated by Mendosa

I have loved and admired St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew for a long time. Once I delivered a speech of his achievements in Do-cho chapel on July 5th, 1984, he appeared in our midst, and melted every people‘s hearts which was closed tight as if spring snow disappears into thin air. I did not know how St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew died until I participated his painful decapitation during his martyrdom on January 29th 1989.

Julia Kim participated in the pains of
St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew’s martyrdom on January 29th 1989.

He said to his executioner “What can I help to make your job easer?” He then laid down his neck. However, the executioner didn’t cut off his head at one blow as he wanted to prolong his pain. St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew continued laying down his neck up to the third time screaming and twisting his body because of tremendous pain. Then he was so exhausted that could not even make a sound in the fourth blow and laid down his neck slightly, and flinched in the fifth, until he did not move at all in seventh blow. So the executioner strongly cut off his head completely in the eighth time.

I was invited to Do-cho chapel, where Rufino Park was in charge, on July 4th 1984 with a few good companions. However, one of them who supposed to deliver the speech about St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew on July 5th became angry. Because there was no room available for us, I slept with Rufino’s family, comprising of his wife and kids. In his house he only had oneroom and the rest slept in the chapel.

However, the next day, the person whowas supposed to deliver the speech angrily accused me of sleeping together with Rufino. Since I knew that person’s anger was the work of the devil of division who was trying to drive a wedge between us. I thought, ‘That person committed sin because of my action. It would have been better if I had slept outside like them even if I have suffered mosquito bites.’ Even though I kept asking for forgiveness by saying “I am so sorry. I will sleep outside the next time.” He said, “Why did you sleep in Rufino’s room?” and “I refuse to deliver any homily today.” It was unbearable to watch him wasting precious time by refusing to deliver his homily about St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew, I said “Yes. I will deliver that homily on your behalf then.”
 

St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew appeared and helped me

I was frightened to death because he tormented me horribly with his scary eyes. Can you imagine how painful I was so much so that I couldn’t find a place to cry except a stack of straws? While I was crying a stack of straws, Rufino found me. I asked for forgiveness to the person again but he didn’t accept my apology either. I realized that there would be a lot of graces if I were to deliver the homily that day. With that in mind, I started to deliver the homily for the first time with a copy of the contents scripted by the person who was supposed to speak.

It was a one-hour speech originally. However, I took three hours to deliver the message spiced with other stories as well. When I started to pray, I heard someone wailing next to me saying “Lord, forgive me. I tormented Julia, who is innocent. I am so sorry Julia. I am so sorry Julia.” Other people were puzzled because they didn’t’ know what was happened. I don’t know how much tears of gratitude I shed through his repentance.

Through the help of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew who appeared among us, their hearts, which was then frozen like an iceberg, melted down. I asked Rufino: “How was it like, Rufino?” (He replied: “That is correct. Many people cried and repented their sins!) They would have received fewer graces if I had delivered that speech without any special offering to God. On the contrary, after I offered up tremendous pains through him, that led to their receiving abundant graces from God. I know that all of you have to go through many obstacles to come to the Blessed Mother of Naju. Of course, there are many objections too. However, if we graciously offer up our difficulties, instead of considering those as the pains, Jesus and the Blessed Mother will provide us and give us abundant graces.

Martyrdom in our daily lives, it is very important!

St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew was a very brilliant man. Even though he was young, he spoke fluent Chinese, Latin, and French. Government officials forced him to renegade from his Catholic religion to their own since he was smart and knowledgeable. However, he never agree with them and suffered martyrdom eventually.

St. Ursula who was the mother of St. Kim Dae-gun Andrew, hid herself from view and watched him being martyred, and sobbing with deep sorrow. This was because she felt that if he saw that sorrow his mother went through it might weaken his will to be martyred. No matter how we are persecuted and suffered from pains, it is nothing  compare with the pains that martyrs suffered through ending their lives. Let us reflect on how much pains we have sacrificed and how much love we have given to our neighbor.

Dear children of God! How much we have loved our neighbors? Let us reflect on ourselves about how hard we have tried to surrender ourselves to our Lord and to follow the example of our Lord although it is incomparable to the measure of love that He has for all of us. I have had confession three times before I came here. I am such an unworthy sinner. However, a person who does not consider himself a sinner receives less love from our Lord. Do you know why? Our Lord did not come to this world to call therighteous but sinners for their repentance.

We have to repent our sins even fortrivial matters whole-heartedly by saying ‘I truly made a mistake!’ Furthermore, when someone commits sins, for example if we think that ‘My husband, my wife, my mother-in-law, my daughter-in-law, or my neighbor committed sins because I was there to give a reason to sin’, we will stop thinking that ‘I am not a sinner since it is not my fault.’ if we confess ourselves as a sinner every day like this, Jesus, who is a doctor for oursouls, is always coming for us to heal us completely.

Although sacrificing ourlives for our Lord is martyrdom, it is very important to do everything with a spirit of martyrdom or self-sacrifice, in our daily lives. Furthermore, we have to find a solution with love by communicating with each other instead of judging our brother or sister even if they have done something wrong. Sometimes we get to be too conceited if we have done something well. However, there will be no opportunity for us to be conceited if we think that ‘Things that have been done well is a work of God, but things that have been done badly is a work of mine.’

We have to remember the first time when we fall in love with Jesus. However, we lose the love for Jesus when we lose our original intention to God. Sometimes, I fall down when I am worn out with severe pains even though I did not lose my first love for Jesus. However, whenever that happens, I immediately repent my sins which had a distraction caused by not graciously offering up other people’s fault and say to the Lord in prayer ‘Lord I made a mistake. How painful are you because of this unworthy sinner.’ That is why I confessed my sins to the priest three times today. I make frequent confessions like this because I hope to go in front of our Lord without any flaws, dust, or wrinkles. We cannot change others until we change ourselves first. Can the Message of love be delivered to others when we say about love without actual practice through reconciling with someone who I had a conflict with first?  We have to try to live a righteously ourselves first, we have to become humble souls, and follow the way of love as littler souls. An old saying has it that the boughs that bear most hang lowest, we have to be humble and littler souls.

Dear children of God! Do you know the principle of a coal briquette? Young people might not know because we don’t use it that much these days. The principle is a blazing briquette has to go under a new one. It will be possible that other people’s heart will be aflame with love from God if we understand and practice the principle of briquette. In order to do that, we have to lower ourselves. However, people in the world that say they know God the Father want to rule over other.
 

“Oh my God! I am so glad to come here!”

When I was a little girl, I bowed low to elders from a long distance with respect and bowed again when they came close. However, I couldn’t say hello out loud to them. I barely made friends with others because I don’t want to slander others. I don’t even talk much after I got married Because of this, people around me said “Don’t you have a terrible breath, do you?” However, after I got to know the love of God, my mouth have always opened for other people in order to deliver the God’s love because I am crazy about love from God. I have spoken not because of self-praise, but spread Jesus and His words.

Our Lord’s work always amazes me. When the statue of the Blessed Mother shed tears, I used two houses (house number was 301 and 302, I used 301 as a room for pilgrims to pray and 302 for my family) in Su-gang apartment. One day, I felt something and came out from house 302 and I also saw an old man came out of house 301. So I said “Nice to meet you. Since you are here, why don’t you have a conversation with me if you have time?” He agreed and we started talking to each other. Then I started the subject of abortion out of the blue. Many people have abortions these days, but I couldn’t even imagine that an eighty-year-old man had been privy to an abortion in 1987. However, I kept saying that “Woman made confession when they realized that an abortion is sin. On the other hand, man never feels guilty and never make confession when they are privy to an abortion. However, if man agrees or connives an abortion, he also commits murder together with a woman. Therefore, when that happens, man has to make confession too.” I thought ‘Why do I keep saying about an abortion that he doesn’t seem to do anything about? Stop saying that!’ However, the word kept coming out of my mouth.

All of sudden, he raised his right hand up to his leg. So I closed my eyes and thought ‘Is he trying to hit me? I deserve it because it was my fault for breaching this subject.’ But contrary to my expectation, he hit his bottom and said “Oh my God! I am so glad to come here!” Then he continued “Hey! You have to say this to other people, too. I committed abortions three times because I was responsible for them. Men have no idea that they are sinners too, but only women are. I am going back with great advice. I will come back next time if I still alive.” That was how God the Father called him even though he came by to the Blessed Mother briefly.

Even though I am so an unworthy sinner, I am delivering the words of God because I love our Lord and every one of you. Otherwise, how can I, unworthy as I am, stand in front of all of you and say something? Furthermore, Jesus said that people who admit themselves as poor and unworthy sinners are more precious than the people who think of themselves as righteous humankind, even though Jesus loves all of us very much. All we have to do is giving thanks to our Lord to give us a call to Him and love him, instead of comparing our lives with others.

Let us try our best to fulfill our mission that God the Father entrusted us. Also, let us earnestly offer up our request to Him to change our hearts to accept other’s words without hurting our feelings and love others as well. Last but not least, let us empty our minds, surrender, and entrust ourselves entirely to our Lord so that He can use us as according to His will. Amen!