|
Excerpts from Julia’s testimony during the Vigil on May 4th,2013
Let us make an
effort to become tabernacles of Jesus and the Blessed Mother and temples of
God. May God's kingdom reign in us all.
Praise be Jesus ! Praise be
the Blessed Mother !
The Blessed Mother said on May
8th,1990 , the Month of the Blessed Virgin Mary:
She said, "I am sad.
" So many of my poor children who are usually forgetful of me, seek me
only during hard times as if trying to grab a life buoy . . . how can I work in
such changeable hearts ? Once they receive the grace they have asked for, they
return to their miserable lives, forget about my love and live in a despicable,
ungrateful way. But, my daughter, my mercy prompts me to call them again”
The Blessed Mother was
shedding thick and copious tears of blood while giving the Messages of Love. I
can say that Her Heart is now torn into pieces and more in deep grief.
However, let us ,even we who
are supposed to know Them, just make a new start. Even when we are about to
fall in a state of dejection, we must immediately bounce back up again with
dogged persevering trust in Our Lord and the Blessed Mother who are unending
love itself. Thus, let us love one another as the words on the Book of John
chapter 15 Verse 12 says: My command is this: Love one another as I haveloved you.
Dear pilgrims, why don't you
try to practice His love. The other day, some of you
wanted to know more in great detail about grandfather Bong,Il-Dong . May I
speak about him again? "Yes",
the pilgrims responded.
On May 14th, 1984, I was on my
way back from service work with Clare who has been helping care for the elderly
grandfathers and grandmothers who were not dependent on the help of their
families. I ran into a grandfather who was holding a bucket who said to us,
" Please help me to get water into this bucket." So we brought water to his
house and then we cleaned away his very messy house .It was stinking of urine
because he collected urine in a chamber pot which he emptied into a drain as
there was no toilet in his house. So I was trying to unclog the drain but I was
not successful.
Grand father told me, "
That drain is clogged up. It has been blocked since the person who lived behind
my house, was built his new house ." I was so surprised by hearing that.
He also ease himself in the bucket that was half-filled with ashes
of used charcoal briquette. It was swarming with maggots that were squirming.
It was disgusting and something I most hate. The bucket was placed at the
corner of his room.
The reason why I hate maggots
is .this.... I have related my vision of how maggots come out of our mouths
when we judge others and blame others. Also that maggots contaminate neighbors
to sin. Likewise, we will be led to a good place if we follow the example of
good people whereas we will end up in a bad place if we follow the ways of bad
people.
There's a saying, " Many
drops make a flood. " Literally, it means, it is not easy for us to
recognize that our clothes are slowly getting wet from a drizzle.
Even though, we hate to judge
others, we can easily be embroiled by saying, "Ah, maybe it's true ?"
We can be brainwashed also if we keep hearing people judging others
continuously.
Anyhow, Even though I was
disgusted seeing the maggots moving in Bong Grandfather's room , I immediately
practiced love for neighbors.
It is not just to practice the
words of John chapter 15 verse 12,"This is my commandment, that you
love one another as I have loved you", but because it makes me feel
happy and joyful to be together with them when they are filled with the joy
they needed after being helped by people who have real hearts filled with the
spirit of love.
So I thought, All right, I
detest maggots very much but the best way for me to console the Lord and the
Blessed Mother is to clean up the dirty maggots.
Therefore, I collected each
maggot in the room and put them into a plastic bag while I prayed," Please
help the most wicked of sinners in the world to repent.”
By the way, grandfather Bong
has three siblings. To take care of his older brother and a younger sister who
was kicked out of her in-law's house, he had to catch fish with a bamboo
harpoon in the stream of the village. In the end, he remained alone after the
two siblings died. After I met him, my whole family started helping him daily
without missing one single day. He was 83 years old and blind (Amaurotic) at
the time.
In 1986, I prepared and helped
him to be baptized. His baptismal name was Andrew Kim Tae Gon, a name I highly
respected. Whenever I went to church with him, I carried him on my back or
lowered him down when I became exhausted and we would walk together on our way
to church.
I could not help feeling so
happy when I saw him so very happy. Nothing could be happier than this. Why
don't you practice such love ?
Do you think , are you able to
spare time to speak ill of others after you tasted what real happiness is.....
? No, no mor time to judge others......
Time is very precious and we
should make use of it by practicing love, shouldn’t we? (Yes ,you are right !)
I gave him a rosary in his
hand when I met. One day he was filled with much anxiety and said " What shall
I do, I can’t say the rosary well" So I said " Even though you are not able to
say the rosary well, just grab it tightly and say " Jesus ! , Blessed Mother ! I
love you despite the fact that I don’t pray well." It is good enough now. Then
he was very happy and as soon as he was released from such an obsession, he
said, " I have one wish." I will make any of your wish
come true , just tell me please, I replied. My wish is to see your (Mijang
Ahjuma’s ) face before I die.
At that moment, I made up my
mind to bring him to an eye doctor and then I went straight to a priest to get
permission. I was so grateful upon hearing from a priest. who said, " That’s a
good idea." Unfortunately, the next day
priest called to convey his
disapproval.
Dear pilgrims ! What did I tell you before ? We are able to walk on the
road of goodness if we follow good people whereas we will walk on the road of
bad things , if we follow bad people.
What does it mean that when I
spoke to a priest he immediately accepted but after being told by a Sister ,"
What is the use to open the eyes of an 85 years old man ?, We’d better use the
money for young people instead." So the priest agreed and followed the
Sister's opinion.
Then he wanted me to meet the
Sister. So, I went to meet her but she could not be persuaded otherwise despite
my relating to her grandfather's story in more detail.
The reason for the intense
scent of incense
It was one of the episodes of
why Rufino came to me when I was about to go to grandfather’s house.
I could not walk at all
towards the entrance of Ma-Il conventional market for even a few centimeters.
It was only 5 minutes distance but I was able to move only just one step after
another and almost dragging myself slowly.
Rufino was trying to call a
taxi, but I said " You may go back home if you won’t participate in this
sacrifice with me." But he willingly accompanied me. I could hardly walk but I just
offered up each one of my steps. By the looks of it, it was actually a
ridiculous scene.
Though it did not make any
sense to me, we just kept on walking and then I found some host-like objects
that were off-white on the ground.
To my surprise, I thought it
was a host. " This is a Host !" I shouted and I picked one of them.
But it wasn’t a Host, but the inner lid (White color and similar
looking to a Host) of Mak-geol-li bottle (Rice liquor)
While I was picking each one
of them carefully, I was weeping loudly with the spirit of reparation for all
the insults and ingratitude against Jesus Who is living in the Holy Eucharist,
and I offered up this prayer for those souls who are engaged in Sacrilegious Communion.
It took me over one and half
hours walk for only 5 minutes distance. When I reached the point that I could
look down his house, I started singing as I hardly made steps toward his house.
♬♪♩ One step after another, every
one of His footprints covered with scalding tears and fresh blood.
The way can't pass without
tears, the way can't pass without bleeding, that was the way of Jesus Who went
through so much more, how can I not follow this way ♬♪♩
We barely arrived at his
house. At the moment that I was about to bathe him, Rufino disappeared to find
a toilet.
Even though I could not walk
easily, I brought three buckets of water to boil for bathing him and then I
smelled the intense scent of incense while I was lighting fire in the fire
place of the kitchen and I prayed, " Help those souls who by committing
Sacrilegious Communion are on the road to hell so they will return back to
You."
When I entered his room after
I bathed him and put him on my back, Rufino came back from the toilet and said
“Ah, Julia! when were you healed?.” And then he told me that it took him a lot
of time to find a toilet. But I thought and realized at once that the Lord made
him to go in circles to find the toilet so that I was able to bathe grandfather
without the help of a man- Rufino.
Anyway, I was focused on
bathing him with hot water and thinking how it would make him so happy. I was
able to finish bathing him while Rufino was wandering around trying to find a
toilet. After that Rufino came to me
and we went to grandfather’s house again.
I realized that grandfather
ate a lot and so I cooked enough amount of rice for him. However, on that day,
we found that the rice in the rice container had become black from the rat's
excrements. I immediately went into his room and put my hands around his neck by
saying " From this hour, I will be your real daughter.” then I was wailing loudly
followed by grandfather who also started crying and Rufino too. On the spot, I decided to have
his eyesight restored through an operation.
When I went to his house for
the first time, I saw a chamber pot that has accumulated layers of dirt. He
urinated in the pot every night and then emptied it into a drain and kept on
using it without cleaning it for a long time.
I was able to buy new one for
him because I was making good money by running a hair-parlor at the time. I
took the old pot and brought it to a brook and started washing it with ashes of
charcoal briquette with my bare hands.
I did not even wear gloves in
order for me to offer it up as a sacrifice.
What could make one be the
happiest than this in the world ?
Dear pilgrims ! Don’t think that these kind of
things are dirty.
I found that the dirt were
slowly being removed as I was cleaning it while praying thus,“ I decide to make
this sacrifice with the spirit of love and reparation, hence remove all the
dirt of sinners in this world”. I just turned this situation into a prayer.
I was very happy to realize
that the Lord was removing the dirt of sinful souls through this.... It wasn’t prayer meeting at
the time, that’s why I was not able to pray for you, but by turning our daily
lives into prayers, we can offer them even after wards like this. So I will
offer this for you today. Turning our daily lives into prayers is so good for
us to offer at anytime.
To go back to the story. I
brought the newly cleansed pot to him and asked him to urinate in the pot and
even defecate in there, and I emptied it every day so the room will stay clean
and fresh.
What could make one the
happiest than this in the world ? I was
extremely happy.
I was counseling with the
Sister that I wanted grandfather to get his eye surgery as he has been
suffering his whole life. The Sister was against my proposal. So I said “ Sister ! I won’t
be sorry if this old man could gain his eyesight and live only for one day.
I am willing to give my eyes
if he still could not see even after surgery. Then Sister said " I go
(Korean slang - My goodness), I can’t stop you. I gave up, you win." So I
brought him to the most famous Hong’s Eye Clinic in Gwangju City.
In the clinic, I saw a young
man who brought his 75 years old mother and begging the doctor to do her
cataract surgery. It was very difficult to get surgery at the time whereas
nowadays (cataract) operation is commonly done in any hospital. This son was
begging the doctor but they told him his mother was too old to undergo cataract
surgery so he had to go back home in tears.
The Lord has turned 100 %
impossible into possible
In addition, the result of the
examination revealed that grandfather's optic nerve was seriously damaged
including the pupil and so the doctor said, " How can we operate on him ? Right
then they rejected surgery for him. "
I just knelt down and began
begging the doctor, " Dear doctor! just operate on his eyes." But he
told me that it's not even 0.1 % possibility, but 100 % impossible. But I
insisted that the result doesn't matter to me, whether he gains his eye sight
or not but that I just want him to have the surgery. I said that he is not my
relative, nor my benefactor. I continued pleading , " Please hear this
story - he has been living in darkness, suffered deep wounds for a long time. I
just want him to be operated on in order for his wish to be realized. I kept on
begging, praying, and asking for help to Jesus and the Blessed Mother. They
helped me and him actually.
Soon later, the doctor
replied," I will operate on him as per your request but don’t except any
0.1 % possibility of success. I said." Yes, It is okay, just operate on
him please."
And I prayed inwardly "Lord,
nothing is impossible for you ! As you healed Bartimaeus' eyes, please
personally perform a miracle through this doctor." I kept on praying like
this.
I even cared for him in the
hospital after the surgery for a week. I helped him to go to the toilet and
bathed him, cleansed him. A week later, the doctor removed the eye-bandages and
asked," Can you see ? " yes", grandfather replied. The doctor
said," Wow ! , it was 100% impossible, was there a miracle?
It was my first experience to
see a blind see. I afterwards when we went to Ruteng, Indonesia witnessed the
miracle that made the blind see, the dumb to hear, and the mute to speak after
they drank Naju miraculous water .
The day of removing the
eye-bandages came. I was praying," Please reveal your glory to us !"
You could heal him through my prayers but I believe the Lord has granted
healing grace also through the hands of the doctor." Then I heard him
saying, "Ah ! I can see, I can see", both his eyes gained sight
eventually.
I knelt down " O Lord ! You
granted this miserable servant’s prayer. Receive the glory and be praised and
be exalted." I could not stop crying, my tears dripping down. And then he was
discharged from the hospital for outpatient treatment. On our way home, he
could recognize all the colors he was seeing.
On the first day of his
outpatient treatment, the pastor of the parish church took us to the hospital
by van. On the way to the hospital, grandfather suddenly said, " Ahjim! your
hair style is very good now, but a shorter hair style will suit you better and
make you prettier than before." Upon hearing him, I could not help crying by
thinking that his life was so painful but despite his adversities, somehow he
was still able to say this kind heartfelt words to me.
When he opened one eye first,He said " I already realized how pretty you are even just hearing your voice.
Only, now I see you are prettier than your voice. Are you an angel from heaven
or a Fairy ?. At the time I cried not because of the words angels and fairy but
because he has eyes that are able to see deeply the beauty of everything.
He said " I don't have any
other wish as it would be enough for me if I live only for one day with good
eyesight." How could I be not so happy on hearing good words from him.? Then, one day he told me that
it would have been better not to see . I was so surprised and I asked
him," How come ?"
He then continued saying, “
Because you are not coming to me daily now whereas you had come to me every day
when I was still blind."
I only went to his house every
3 days after he gained his eye-sight. So I said “ I’m sorry and I
will come to you frequently. “ Then he laughed like a child.
Turning our daily lives into
prayers and offering it when it comes to mind.
We have to make reparation if
we still have something to repay to avoid reparation in purgatory.
My husband, at the time , was
a chair of Daegon community and volunteer Andrew was the person in charge of
bookkeeping . The community had decided to
donate some money to grandfather, but he delayed to give it to him. So I asked
“ Andrew !, have you given the money to him ?"
"I will do it
today," he answered and a few days later he still did not give grandfather
the money. I again asked. "No, not yet", he said. So I spoke to him,
"What are you going to do if he would die? He is now very old "
"Ah Yes, I will give it to him today," he answered.”
Then, the following day,
someone knocked on the gate of the house and shouting, "Bong grandfather
died, he died !"
At that time, my big toe was
in a cast due to a fracture in the shape of a "V", but the cast
extended above my knee bone. I was lying down in the attic , but suddenly I
went down from my room and went straight to his house. And I said to Andrew !
" Have you already given the money to him ?" " Not yet ", he
said.
" You have to do reparation in
purgatory and that money should be donated for the Lord in the name of Bong
grandfather. We don't know the time nor the hour."
This is another story .When my
mother was young, the owner of jewelry shop gave 4,000 won watch to my mom on
loan. But my mom failed to reimburse him because the shop burnt down. Several
decades later , I discovered that and then I consulted this matter with my mom
and decided to spend that money putting more interests for good deed. She also
agreed and we did as we expected.
Likewise, we can offer prayers
that we were not able to do before and also we can offer prayers for faults we
committed in the past whenever it comes to mind. Because of this, the teaching,
“Turning our daily lives into prayers as offering whenever it comes to mind.”
is very important. So I really want to say to you that we can make a new start
with repentance no matter what kind of great mistakes we may have committed in
the past.
A greatest gift given by grand
father
I prepared the funeral and
also buried him. I even could not feel any pains in my leg though I climbed up
and down in the public cemetery.
I could not feel comfortable
thinking that if I did not injure my toe and leg, I would have been able to
visit his house many more times before he died. How it was so painful for him
to encounter the last minute without me and any other people ?
If he blamed me in the middle
of waiting for me, I may go to purgatory in reparation…… It was hard for me to
stand by thinking of this. I was also uncomfortable thinking of the money that
remained to be given to him. A grandmother who informed me of his death was
living next door to his house . She also became a catholic with the baptismal
name of Serena . She saw me helping him and understood that …"Catholic is
good " and was touched to convert.
The day grandfather died, she
came and found money-360,000 won ($ 350 aprox) and gave it to me. The money was mostly given
by me.
Grandfather kept on saying
that " Even though you will take care of my funeral , I have to save at least
some money for that." His words reminded us to look for the money that he kept
treasured and folded many times.
I don’t know how many big
gifts was given by him. I did not know how to receive from other’s favor but on
the contrary, I just gave alms for others.
I was exceedingly happy if
someone will receive my favor happily as I really feel like giving. However I
always refused to accept other's favors whenever they attempted to give me
something.
Now, because of him, Bong grand father , I am
enlightened that my behavior was so selfish. So I happily and willingly
accept other’s favors and I just say, "Yes" Thank you ,although I am still not
accustomed to receiving.
Most people are so stingy to
give for the pitiable, the poor and abandoned but they prefer to give to those
close to them and who love them. But it is easy and everyone can do that.
True love for
Jesus and the Blessed Mother is to give our love unconditionally for the poor, abandoned,
pitiable and miserable that are not able to return compensations to us.
One day, while I
was resting in my house just after the burial, Serena hurriedly rushed into my
house. "Dear Julia ! I don’t believe it ! They took down his house
already.! Bong's property has been transferred to a bad person because you did
not accept his proposal that he really wanted give his house to you."
Before he died, he kept on
saying, " I want to give this house to you or the awful one who lives
behind my house will forcefully take this. Therefore, please transfer this
house into your name." But I strongly rejected it at the time.
But now they swept away his
house by bull dozer right on the day of his burial. The reason was that one time the
one living behind Bong grandfather's house paid the tax instead of Bong. Now
Bong died without reimbursing that money, so Bong's property was claimed by
that person.
A grandmother also got mad
when she saw them throw away the crucifix, the Blessed Mother’s Statue and
grandfather’s picture . So I soothed her by saying, " They are
non-believers and do not know what they are doing. Jesus forgave people who
were nailing him and prayed“ They do not know what they are doing , forgive
them". Likewise , let us pray for them to repent".
Upon hearing me ,she said
" Oh I see " No wonder why the Blessed Mother has chosen you ” then
she became a devout catholic.
Let us start anew
Dear fellow pilgrims! You must be example wherever
you go so that many of people will go to heaven by just following the example
from all of you.
For doing so, we have to
completely offer ourselves to the Lord and the Blessed Mother, and repent
ourselves and reconcile with each other if you still have someone whom you
hate.
What I am willing to say is to
receive the abundant love of Jesus and the Blessed Mother full to the brim
today by asking for forgiveness of all your faults that you have committed to
the Lord and the Blessed Mother.
Dear pilgrims!
If you ever received Communion
sacrilegiously because you did not go to confession because of unknown sins and
sins you perceive as too great to confess. Now, let us ask for forgiveness and decide to
go to confession and open the door of your heart wide and then forgive all
those people who have offended you, persons who are not forgiving, persons who
are like enemies, etc, and let us all strive to become a temple and the
tabernacle of Jesus and the Blessed Mother.
Let us make a new
start and receive healing graces by entrusting our sick and tired souls and
bodies to Him. Amen
Thank you very much.
Julia Kim
|
